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Deep in the morning light
All our secrets were let out
And it was then you couldn’t stay

The doors to your heart closed
And still I don’t know why
What caused the distance between you and I?

It was easier to walk away
To destroy my world at the break of day
Is this all there is to life?

The nights come, the seasons change
And still I see your face
Each and every F#@king place

I can’t end it, I know where I’ll goAnd frankly I just don’t have the rightBut man I got to tell youI’m losing the will to fight My heart’s a graveyardIt’s just bones of the pastA valley of broken promisesDreams that didn’t lastThe Lord givesThe Lord takes awayJust what else is thereLeft to say?I didn’t come here to plead my caseThe prosecution needs to restI have no words left to sayNo right to a defenceAnd even thoughI sought the blessing with tearsWhat is done cannot be undoneAnd no return on the wasted yearsThere’s no weddingBut rather an endless wakeInch by inch it all gets closerAnd soon it will break

The clock

Each time there is a pain in my chest
I secretly hope that it is fatal
This lack of reason or purpose
Is more than I am able

I can hear the clock tick
That useless measurement of waste
Once it had a use it would seem
Ironically, now it’s too late

It counts like a child with an OCD
Up on the f**cking wall
It hangs there, mocking me
“What have you done at all?”

It moves round and round
Like the string of thoughts in my head
Tick tock, wake up, sleep, eat
Tick tock, one day you’re not, you’re dead

Inhale

I have inhaled all those I have loved

Till I choked on their memory

They turned into vapour

And simply dissapeared before me

All I have known and wanted

Simply turned to dust

Even those I thought of gold

Are uneven shades of rust

And so the years are a spiral

Further down they go

All the desires I ever had

You shall never know

17:50

I’m tired of death

Like 16:30 in a crack house

Yellow, fading light of dusk coming

Cigarette burnt lace curtains
I’m tired of life

Lungs filled with ash and dust

Reflected life in broken windows

Diseased, unable to move 
I’m tired of staring at the ceiling

Waiting for the same damaged dawn

Pieces of dreams litter the floor

Staining the carpets with memory
I’m drowning, I don’t care

I’m at the inevitable collapse

Diluted, a dirty blocked drain

I woke here in the dirt

here in the dirt I remain

17:13

I’ve made so many mistakes
And God knows this road is long
I’m going to be paying for them
For years after I’m gone
Look at my face
And see all the stories it will tell
I’m stuck in a past that never ends
What was my heaven has become my hell
All my deeds are dirty rags
All my desires are lost in the storm
The world is burning around me
Why was I ever born?
Tell everyone I’m sorry
Even the ones that never cared
I’m leaving for Alaska
Even though I’m not prepared
I think this is it
I got to say goodbye
I just can’t take the ashtrays and couches
And a life I cannot recognise
The cars and traffic and concrete walls
the sun that shines but never touches my skin
I’m sorry but the keys will be left in the door
Charlie Brown won’t be living here anymore
If I thought you remembered me
And the days I sat staring at your beautiful face
I can’t sit here any longer
I don’t even know if I’ll find peace some other place
But I got to go
And maybe I’ll find God in the wilderness
I can’t seem to hear Him here
And I can’t live like this