I’m tired of death

Like 16:30 in a crack house

Yellow, fading light of dusk coming

Cigarette burnt lace curtains
I’m tired of life

Lungs filled with ash and dust

Reflected life in broken windows

Diseased, unable to move 
I’m tired of staring at the ceiling

Waiting for the same damaged dawn

Pieces of dreams litter the floor

Staining the carpets with memory
I’m drowning, I don’t care

I’m at the inevitable collapse

Diluted, a dirty blocked drain

I woke here in the dirt

here in the dirt I remain


I say your name

Since I like how it tastes

I’ve waited 37 years

Just to see your face 
I watch you move like a ballet

In ways I have not seen

I’ve walked through a thousand hells

To get to the one place I want to be 
I’d do it again

If I could wash up on your shore

I would sleep to forget

But I don’t want to sleep anymore


I’m the old jacket in the corner

Of a lonely brown apartment

The dishes piled up for days

I’m the broken window

With a torn curtain for company

Dirty in such unsightly ways

I’m the cigarette burnt carpet

With the ash of dreams in my hair

Of a life we could have made


I have ghosts that will not leave

Like the hours after a bar has closed

Only one person left to clean up the mess

The same song just plays on repeat

Then in the desperate hours of morning

When sleep has refused to come

Laying there with no need to dream

Since the real world is a nightmare

I wish you would find me

I’d say in those moments

Loud enough perhaps you could hear

But all that answers is the silence

Followed by another day of coffee

More cigarettes and wasted smiles

Still, the same song on repeat

Sun down and sun up

Day in, day out 

Better days

I wasn’t born a failure
You’re lack of compassion won’t make me one
I will live, breathe, I’m broken but I’ll mend
Im not alone, even if everyone is gone

I hate this empty feeling
And I won’t sleep with regret
Better days are coming
Because I will forget

I surrender to the silence
I close my eyes and I’ll say goodnight
I’ll dream some day again
But not of what won’t be realized

I was sinking
And I might again
Who knows what tomorrow holds
But this heart will remain