Lost

I’m lost, neither here nor there

Beyond the arms of reality

The June black sun

We’re always lost here

So happily torn in two

An equation never being solved

The illusion of beauty

Where nothing is ever true

Forgive these transgressions

All I ever do is sin

Is there nothing I can do

To stop learning the same lessons

4

Four, always four

The endless insanity of the infinite

I stood, looked to see

I opened up the door

Again, four

Never more, just four

Repeat like a broken record

The static hiss that begins just before

Stained carpets, muddy floor

Empty coffee cups

Cigarette burns on the curtain

Please, please, no more

Screaming in the dark like a broken doll

All the pieces of the mirror

Shattered on the floor

Please, not more, just four

But not anymore

Inhale

I have inhaled all those I have loved

Till I choked on their memory

They turned into vapour

And simply dissapeared before me

All I have known and wanted

Simply turned to dust

Even those I thought of gold

Are uneven shades of rust

And so the years are a spiral

Further down they go

All the desires I ever had

You shall never know

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I’d wear your hell like a cheap suit

All my hurts like a second skin

I’d love you just to hurt you

Bury myself in your beautiful skin

I’d drown in your tears

I’d spend days inside you and do it again

I’d disintegrate in the filth I dream

And condemn myself for my sin

I’d binge on your flesh

And consume all that I could

In a single insignificant moment

I’d devour you in ways I never should

07:04

There’s no pacifying the hunger

No quenching the desire

We all stand and stare at the sky

While burning in our fire

Don’t talk of things you don’t know

Don’t dream of things you’ll never see

You’ll only find the haunted

Twisted parts of me

I wake and scream all these names

Every night the dream’s the same

All

All the pieces tattered and torn
trying to make myself ok
buried down at the bottom

smashed the dreams I'll start again
getting lost been thrown away
this is all I wanted

Trying to get back from where I'm from
the better I get the worse I become

I know you

I know you

I’ve seen your face

While I was hiding away

Some other place

Is this life or something else?

You’re all I want to remember

And yet here I am again

Another empty December

I had waited so long

But you never did come

And in just a day or two

I’m afraid I’ll be gone

I miss the late conversations

Talking about nothing at all

And yet all those nothings

I couldn’t want anything more

It never stopped raining

The sun never did shine

I just spend my days wishing for you

Telling everyone I’m fine

And I’m learning I don’t need to be okay

I can walk around with nothing left to say

I can let the dreams stay be buried

They wouldn’t come to pass anyway

2017

Blessed be the fornicators

The liars, the thieves, the killers

Blessed be the malicious

And all the unrepentant sinners

Blessed be the lascivious ones

The wretched, the filthy and gluttonous

Blessed be the self right hypocrites

Stealing while promising to be pious

Blessed be the rich deceivers

Self centered wicked whores

Blessed be the false believers

Blessed be the guns and wars

Welcome to 2017

Roads

We’re just stains on the wall

Shadows where we used to be

Empty rooms breathe a sigh

Like the emptiness deep in me

We’re just crumpled sheets

Desolate beds and broken dreams

The ticking of a clock on the wall

It’s all gone like it’s never been

18:28

You can try to hide
But it keeps on coming
You can hope and plead
But you'll never stop running

I'm trying to get away from myself
Away from everything I see
In desperately damaged and flawed
I'm in love and in agony

Take my isolation and fear
Take my longing and fragility
Take all these words and dreams
Just take it away from me