The oceans are empty
The mountains still weep
I’m still awake in the dark
And you’re blissfully asleep
The sun has gone cold
All the stars have gone dark
Of all the saddest truths
I miss the view from your heart
Now it is darkness
Where once you were a constellation
Something to guide me home
And now there is no destination
Deep in the morning light
All our secrets were let out
And it was then you couldn’t stay
The doors to your heart closed
And still I don’t know why
What caused the distance between you and I?
It was easier to walk away
To destroy my world at the break of day
Is this all there is to life?
The nights come, the seasons change
And still I see your face
Each and every F#@king place
I got so many demons
And they have nowhere to go
I have so many questions
And things I just don’t know
I’m sick of depression
Sick of questions
Sick of breathing the same air
Who’s talking? Hell, me or Heaven?
Let the world turn to ash
Let the stars fall from the sky
Let the end of it all come
What use am I?
I’m sick to death of watching the clock
Hearing what you have, what you think and what you want
Nothing, it’s all nothing, nothing is what we have got
And I am all things you are not
I can’t find you at the bottom of a bottle
Or myself at the end of a crack pipe
Nor will I find answers
On the sharp edge of a knife
You have memories
And I want to forget
I want to live for once
Without regret
I’m the marred old stump of an oak
The rings of age for all to see
The leaves have long since fallen
Each a miserable memory
The floor covered, all around me
With dead things, dead parts of me
Surrounded by the decay of time
Tomorrow is another broken dream
I can’t end it, I know where I’ll goAnd frankly I just don’t have the rightBut man I got to tell youI’m losing the will to fight My heart’s a graveyardIt’s just bones of the pastA valley of broken promisesDreams that didn’t lastThe Lord givesThe Lord takes awayJust what else is thereLeft to say?I didn’t come here to plead my caseThe prosecution needs to restI have no words left to sayNo right to a defenceAnd even thoughI sought the blessing with tearsWhat is done cannot be undoneAnd no return on the wasted yearsThere’s no weddingBut rather an endless wakeInch by inch it all gets closerAnd soon it will break
Is your life today what you pictured a year ago?
No. I still don’t forget.
I still see your face and hear every word, and now you’re just a ghost, like a year ago, for the last 3 years, and yet it just gets worse.
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The repetition, the incessant noise
That by which I am consumed
A pattern of destruction
All it would seem is doomed
It waits like an accursed vulture
Sitting, salivating upon the steps
The devourer of hope and the future
Utterly meaningless, grotesque
The papers all blow away
Written notes I never did send
I was whole in the morning
Yet now nothing in the end
The wretched thoughts
Clinging to me as if they would suffocate
The abominable reality
A world to which I cannot relate
Such is the loneliest day
Months that become years
Transfixed by the horrors before me
Lost to the endless fears
The clock
Each time there is a pain in my chest
I secretly hope that it is fatal
This lack of reason or purpose
Is more than I am able
I can hear the clock tick
That useless measurement of waste
Once it had a use it would seem
Ironically, now it’s too late
It counts like a child with an OCD
Up on the f**cking wall
It hangs there, mocking me
“What have you done at all?”
It moves round and round
Like the string of thoughts in my head
Tick tock, wake up, sleep, eat
Tick tock, one day you’re not, you’re dead
Nothing
Memoirs of a sinner 