17:55


You think it’s easy
As if there are no feelings here
You think this is what I want
You know what I’d give
To have know you rather than her
Who’s memory lingers like a corpse
Removed from my house but the stench remains
No amount of bleach, paint, renovations
Or anything of the sort removes the odor
My misery is comfortable
It’s safe, I know it well
And yet I feel dead inside

I don’t need to be happy
I just don’t want to feel so empty
Like everything is pointless
Meaningless, mundane
Wake up, eat, sleep
Wash,Rinse, repeat
Today is the same as yesterday
Tomorrow will be too
I feel everything
And then nothing
Running in circles in my head
I feel old and worn out
Like this life is over
Did it ever occur to you
That you deserve better?
That it is in fact nothing that you think?
I feel like a hollow reed
Blown about in the wind
Stuck in one spot
I can’t move, can’t change
Can’t dream or begin again

I am shit
Loathsome and abhorrent
I am the worst of men
Its not than I feel nothing
Or less, but rather far more
Till it clouds Mt thoughts
And actions and dreams
So that I don’t sleep
That I need to medicate
The twilight hours
I stare at the world
Waiting for some meaning
Purpose, a function
It’s too much effort to breathe

I don’t even feel human anymore
I don’t feel like a man
I feel like a great big nothing
In an endless abyss
Looking at the world through a window
I take all the blame
It’s my crime
My doing
You think you’re unlovable
You have it wrong

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